If the next counselor doesn’t work, find another one. If counseling doesn’t work, then go to a different counselor. When you get stuck in disagreement, get help. After you’ve talked about it, keep talking about it, even when it causes arguments. Disengaging from this conversation will only lead to loneliness and bitterness.Īction: Talk about it. So they stop talking about it because it ends in an argument and they don’t see the point. Sexual Dissatisfactionĭo you feel like you’re not having enough sex? When you do have it, has it become boring and predictable? Many men communicate their desire to have more sex but feel hopeless when nothing changes. Sharing your insecurities and fears will only make you closer. One of the benefits of marriage is having someone there to help us. That’s hurting her and your marriage.Īction: Don’t go it alone. By not telling her, you are forcing her to use her imagination to figure out what’s wrong. But women are perceptive and she most likely already knows. The other reason is they think she can’t handle it. They want to project that they have it all together. Many men are afraid to share their stress for the same reason they don’t share their hurt. Use the words “I feel…” After you have communicated it, forgive and let go of your hurt. If you are hurt by something she did or said, then say it. Nothing will ever change if she doesn’t know and you will silently become bitter.Īction: Share your feelings with your wife. Whether you don’t want to start a fight or you think that being hurt makes you weak (it doesn’t), holding back what is going on inside will only create division. “I’m fine.” Have those words ever come out of your mouth, even though you’re not fine? It’s a lie. The more information you can offer, the better. Be careful about the one-on-one interactions you have and never hide anything. Transparency and boundaries you both agree on are paramount to building trust and having a lasting marriage.Īction: Talk through your boundaries so you can be on the same page. The question to answer is this: Why hide it? Does she get easily jealous? Do you have feelings for the other woman? Concealing our relationships with women is a quick road to an affair and shows little respect for our wives. If you feel the need to hide interactions with other women, that’s a sure sign there is something wrong. Sit down together, face it, lovingly talk it out, plan, and set boundaries. Financial irresponsibility is a major source of embarrassment and shame, but nothing ever changes until it is brought into the light of day. Maybe the situation is reversed and you are hiding debt or financial difficulty from her.Īction: You need to get everything out in the open. Is her spending out of control? The passive way to handle it is to have a secret savings account, but then her dysfunction or your disagreements never get resolved. Here are 5 things husbands hide from their wives that they shouldn’t. If you are hiding things from your wife, it’s time to share and confront the problem. This can be painful, but the alternative will lead to a shallow marriage at best, while at worst, it can have dire consequences. Rather than hide things from each other, married couples need to work out their differences. Trust is the central ingredient to having a healthy marriage. More often than I can remember, clients would say, “My spouse doesn’t know about this account and I want to keep it that way.” When I asked why, I always received the same answer: “I don’t trust him/her.” But hiding things in a relationship, especially a marriage, is never wise. But in most situations, I would meet with only one, and usually, the other spouse didn’t even know about it. When I could meet with both husband and wife, they’d both make tons of progress toward meeting their goals. Sitting around kitchen tables, my clients would tell me all about their past successes and failures, future hopes and dreams, and current circumstances and struggles. One of my favorite parts of the job was getting to know people. For several years, I was a financial advisor.
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